What Is In a Title, Titular Name Here?

Today has been simply lovely.


For I can find little other description for what hath captivated me this day.
Speech hath come clear, poetic verse is upon my tongue and my heart sings a constant song,
Love hath surrounded me, and self discrimination hath been bound.

There is a constant smile upon my face, and there is joy in my heart,
White fragments of a bygone season graced me upon my walk,
And I felt them melt deep within my heart.

I have read, I have dreamed, and I have had no lack of my water-wheel's movement.
Emotion drips forth, and no apathy is within the air.



For I love you all. 

~ T.J.H. 

A little Post-Jam update of life.

So lately I've been doing some internal cleanup.

I've found I have more control over how I feel in certain situations than I originally thought I did. During a bout of extremely loud Sullivan ruckus during Elijah/Emma's joint birthday party I felt fairly terrible for a time. I thought I was going to have to request to return home early. 

The end result? I was fine. Why was I fine? I remembered what my thoughts were compared to what I should be thinking. I just had to remember... I wasn't surrounded by chaos and noise. I was surrounded by some of my best friends, God was inside me and all of them and they were all smiling.

That calmed me considerably, enough that I was able to stay around. A similar situation arose tonight at Winter Jam. After an hour or two I had just sort of mentally had it and started shaking a good bit and just didn't feel correct.

Some niceness from Elijah, Emma and co definitely helped. But I had to change my thoughts as well, so I did. 

And I turned out fine. That has been so, so encouraging. 

Every so and so, not very often but often enough to be needed, I do a sort of review of the people in my life. I ask myself questions about them and me, and view how near or far from my heart they are. 

I've been doing that in the last two days, and I think I know where everyone now aligns for me. Something that usually stresses me is not knowing where I currently/recently align in someone else's life. I don't know why, really for years it has though. Sometimes I just ache inside and want to sit down some persons and ask them directly when I think about it too much. I'm learning not to yearn for that knowledge however, as long as I know where everyone else is for me.... it should be fine, aye. Growing.

God is good. 

Tonight at Winter Jam was stressful at times, but lovely at others. I nearly cried from testimonies multiple times... that's not regular in the least. But it was beautiful, I think everyone had a very good time. It was wonderful seeing a person or two that I didn't expect to see, as well. 

I am tired. Sleepy. And not proof-reading this. Goodnight, family, acquaintances and friends.

~ Tanner.