My Dirge Unto You

My dirge is for those of plenty,
Those who come for dollars, leave for pennies,
A heart opened is a delicate thing, my loves,
Defenseless and fluttering, as the flight of doves,
Hold your tears, tired and weak ones,
Your life shall surely be shot to death with emotional guns.
Curse the trustee, love the martyr, directions going everywhere,
Hold your peace at this time, it is not correct to pull out your hair,
Lessons learned, choices made,
Trust is not a simple stockade,
Lights come, lights go, darkness may swallow you whole,
You need not dig yourself deep, you were not created as a mole.
Unholy dirge of woe, closest to the soul,
Time has yet to heal your bleeding hole,
Non waking you are reminded of painful realities,
Reminding you of certain actualities.
Love is sincere, never wandering, never changing.
Love is the Lord, never leaving, never changing.
Give us the wisdom to go on, rebuild on your time, or fall apart forever.
My dirge unto You, heal my bloodless my heart oh Lord.

Part Two ~ Broken Sentences & Dual Paragraphs.

World building in something entirely fictional created from the ground-up in your mind is ludicrously difficult by itself, but when you yourself are as disorganized as I am, it becomes downright stressful. Like a chimney that has smoke gushing up through it, but the top is clogged.
That said, when everything actually goes right it becomes so, so worth it.

This world, planet in this instance, that I am attempting to unearth as the setting of my hopefully interesting story is separated into continents, and thus has its own residents and groups according to its areas, though the inhabitants do intermingle greatly of course. This is probably where a little Bionicle influence comes into play. And why not? It was the first world that truly enveloped me and forced my creative powers to skyrocket with such unique, interesting locals and natives. The problem with this is it would be awful useful to have a map of the place, akin to what can be found in any Middle-Earth books. I'll probably have to draw one, even though I can't draw. Maybe later this week if I get the chance.

It's probably going to get a little tiresome hearing me go on about Vessel. There isn't much of it set in stone, and it could be years before I can get it published and it will doubtlessly go through a lot of changes. It may just be able to be independently published online someday. Yeek. I never read full books online, on a screen or anything, so that would be quite ironic. A little bit of a mourning from a tired writer, apologies. On with the creative process. The last paragraph gave me an idea however, so I think that will birth something more substantial in the coming weeks...

Before getting into the meat of this, which will be smaller than originally intentioned (by a long shot, sorry! More of a tasty tidbit to hold over until my other idea comes together soon, very soon...) A dream I once had was for books I loved to come with soundtracks inspired by the story & world. Imagine reading The Magician's Nephew and getting a short disc with some beautiful scores to suit the moods. Vessel is sort of going in reverse with that, music inspires a good bit of the tone and creative juices within it. I'll make a playlist containing some of that, if anyone is curious. (There is going to be a lot of Starset.)

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~ Galen's eyes slowly fluttered open, alighting on the stone cave ceiling. He sat up with a start, and instantly regretted it as pain engulfed his back. With a wince he laid himself back down slowly, trying to remember how he'd lost consciousness. He swiveled his head to the right without pain.
       Good, I can still move my head. It was then he noticed the pile of rubble several feet from where he lay. The cave in... too many charges... must have ignited the vein. He wasn't aware that the Substance was flammable. But then, he was new to the job. Why wouldn't the other, more experienced workers warn him of the danger? As he pondered this he realized the room should have been plunged into darkness if it wasn't for the various Substance veins still present in the rock formations surrounding him. If it wasn't for that ominous, bluish-green light he would probably think himself dead or in some empty afterlife. Neither seemed too bad compared to his current situation. He was trapped in a small pocket of a vast cavern, likely cut off from fresh air sources, practically paralyzed due likely injuries in his spine. I'll have to force myself up eventually, he painfully lifted his arm to swab his sweaty forehead and disheveled black hair, One bit of pain at a time. It took all of his energy to muster the strength to push through the pain of lifting his arm. How much harder would it be to stand, let alone walk? A liquid began to leak into his eyes and burn, with a grunt he wiped it from his eyes to see it was blood. His hand was badly cut in multiple places from the cave-in and had rubbed off on his face without him realizing. I guess add blood infection to the list of problems, heh. 

He lied there for another 10 minutes in silence, eye closed, knowing he needed time to attempt to stand. He ached, the air cramped and stale (dust still drifting about the air from the rockslide) and the only sound being a soft, steady dripping sound from somewhere in the room. Where is that come from? Galen finally asked himself after the sound got too repetitive for him to stand any longer. He tilted his head toward the sound and noticed one of the Substance's veins was penetrated, dripping its strange essence onto the cave floor. I guess I could add that to my work quota... if that was ever going to matter anymore. And who knows? Maybe they'll notice I'm gone, come back for me. No, there's too many workers, too little supervisors, much less any that actually care about us breaking our backs down here. He chuckled at the 'breaking his back' saying, such irony that it actually may have occurred. The Substance continued its trickle and drop routine without break, echoing through the dank prison Galen knew would almost certainly be his tomb. ~

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(Apologies for typos)
Godbless,
~ Tanner.

Part One ~ The World of _______

Welcome to the world of _____. I have not a definite name yes, so I will leave it as that. It is not a very large world, but holds enough planetary space for three main continents and 8 territories with numerous cities, towns, trading posts, and several ancient kingdoms. It’s a naturally building world, similar to our own Earth. This land was inspired originally by the film Treasure Planet, or rather the small world of Montressor and its moon spacesport. I was fascinated by the 1600s atmosphere merged with classic science fiction goodness, and I still am fascinated with it. As a result I can see this story having a good bit of, eh, ‘steampunk’ vibes to it. There are farms, trading post areas that can take up a good few miles of space, mountain regions, frigid regions upon the north and south poles, and a good chunk of the planet has yet to be explored. That lack of exploration into the Eastern hemisphere of the planet is largely due to a lack of quick transportation and a general fear of the unknown.

Multiple races dwell upon the surface, with differing allegiances, goals and values. The elf-like Taleen, the horned Nurukk, the man-equivalent Homme, and the eternally hooded Charusk are a few of the main species dominating the main life on ______. There are a variety of beast of course, from the Mehlik (bread primarily for food) to the rare (thankfully so) and terrifyingly monstrous Wool beasts, there has always been a bit of a struggle to survive, as there is with any frontier. However in the last century, it seems order has finally settled onto ______ and government has began to assert varying kingdoms, leaving most to die out or conform to the new, more profitable way of life. With a few exceptions (such as the Nurukk and Charusk) life among the species has become quite adjoined with one another. Sadly, some racism and elitism still exists among the species from a previous conflict.

There are characters from many of these races heavily involved in the storyline, some of which from other species yet to be introduced. Vorusk U-Vor II, Torrent, Galen, Elysia, and a bounty of others will be introduced in good time, and a lot more light shed upon _____. That’s a great name isn’t it, ______. Just rolls off the tongue don’t you think?

Godbless,

~ Tanner. (note I didn't look over for typos, oh dear.)

The Prologue of A Dream.

So, in 2013 I had an idea for something. It has literally gone through so many changes it is almost nothing like the original idea. And probably for the better, considering the original would probably get thrust into the disastrous Young Adult teen novel sections. How you grow, what you read and watch (and in my case, what games you play) can really influence what kind of stories you want to make and how the characters go, especially in age. In this case, really glad that happened. This blog was partially created to convey bits and pieces, maybe even chapters of what I'm trying to create. My lack of ability to draw can really hinder the creative process... but Lord willing I can still do what I wish to do for a career... someday.


I reckon I'll start off by describing some core concepts, some character prototypes, and where this story of mine takes place. One thing that has stayed consistent with my original idea is that this is a science fantasy universe, combining elements of science fiction with dark fantasy. I also always wanted this to be... an Adventure. Elements of other kinds of story genre's are here, drama, thriller, mystery, some rambunctious comedic elements. Maybe down the line a little romantic drivel, but not near the beginning at all. But in the end, tis an Adventure, inspired by ye Hobbits of old.


That said I'll be making this a bit of a series, with this post as the prologue since I am short on time. I shall leave you mainly with a name, which you can obsess over and try to figure out what it will relate to. Or you will forget by the next blog post. Whichever you prefer.


Thank you for possibly joining me on the journey I call, Vessel.

Communication.

Sometimes I wonder just how well we communicate as friends, as people with a draw to fellowship.

I shan't name any of the people I may mention here. But lately I've noticed how poor communication has led to the crippling or near destruction of previously lovely friendships. Why did that occur? Because someone and myself were not on the same ground, and neither addressed one another. Instead there was only a period of stepping away from each other entirely without any grace, only a long stretch of awkwardness and, for me, a troubled spirit.

I love my friends, and I want them to know that. I love how they strive for godliness, to put Jesus at the epicenter of their lives, even if they may stumble, they will march on.

But the experience of the past months has left me in confusion. Why do we not confront each other anymore? Why do we hide away? Why do we bottle up and set out to sea the issues that should be conveyed to our offender?

Why do we not come together as Jesus told us to?


Godbless, Love.

~T.J.H.

So, Who's Tanner? (Short Intro.)

So, I probably don't have more than one or two people I don't know in real life reading my little blog.

But, just in case....
I thought I'd make a short little introductory to Tanner Hayden, brief so it doesn't become too much of a ramble (it will become a ramble I promise) but enough so that you feel like you kinda know me better by the end of it. :) It's going to be a hodgepodge of useless facts, but here goes nothing.. XD


I'm nineteen years old. That technically makes me an adult, but still a teen. And yet, I rarely feel like either. XD I am a born-again Christian, have been homeschooled up until college, live in the midwestern United States, and am pretty weird overall. I have two siblings, a brother and a sister... and they're both 9 years older than me, so I've been living as the last child(?) left at home for about ten years. I have a lot of quiet and alone time, which is both nice but kinda lonely sometimes. I'm trying to (slowly) write a book to be published sometime in the next five years, and am learning guitar right now too. Even slower. XP

I love music, writing, gaming, reading, family and friends, cute critters (even if they don't usually love me XD) and Mountain Dew. I have a collection of Mountain Dew cans. Told you things were gonna start getting random and weird pretty fast.

I like listening to a ton of different kinds of music, from metal to classical to rock to some kinds of pop and world and.... well, I try not to genre and sub-genre everything. I have a little Youtube playlist of some songs I love, if anyone is curious. :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXcrEVFZOXs&list=PLGhQVSXNp0d9YBFn9__rfG2wg8PNChFbp


Some of my favorite game series are Metroid, Jak and Daxter, Sonic the Hedgehog, Rayman, and Star Fox. (Not so much into stuff like Call of Duty or Halo, just not my thing. ;) )
Some favorite books include The Bible (duh XD), The Chronicles of Narnia, Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit (especially the Hobbit), the Space Trilogy, and Accidental Detectives. I'm reading That Hideous Strength by C.S. Lewis right now and am loving it. <3

I have three Youtube channels. My private one, my formerly main channel where I did gameplay videos and stuff... one of the videos I did on there got over a thousand views somehow. Don't look it up though, it's terrible. XD And my third is a shared one with the older brother of my friend Elisabeth Sullivan, where we do really awful Bionicle ad-lib comedy videos and stopmotions.

I struggle with intense anxiety sometimes, especially in the last three months since having my first major panic attack. I'm improving slowly through, with God's strength and my loving family. :) I ran into a brick wall when I was 5 and needed stitches and still have a faint scar on my forehead. That's it for my medical/health history. XP

Maybe I'll revise/add onto this sometime. I mainly started this blog to post some story tidbits, bits of poems and songs and the occasional journal-ish update. Anyone is open to read them... though they might confuse you a little out of context. XP I hope you enjoy wading in my little Glass Ocean of Thought. :)

Godbless ~ <3

There, And Back Again. (In a different meaning.)

Often in a gathering of friends we have fun, sometimes share smiles and laughs and meaningful conversations. But sometimes I simply must exit for a time, either due to a senses overload or I realize something is bringing me down. Retreating to, say, a restroom or quiet corner and playing music or (especially) singing to myself is my favorite thing to do when I must vacate for a time. 

I enjoy small groups of friends, but I guess deep down I always prefer one or two people conversations. I think in groups most of us have a tendency to follow or listen to whoever is making the most noise rather than who is actually trying to speak to us. I do that sometimes as well. 

In the end, Thank the Lord for restrooms I guess. :) I do so love seeing treasured souls and faces.